First year reflections

Friend/Family Member:  "So, how's married life treating you so far?"
Me:  "Awesome!  Being married has been great.  Honestly, the move to CA and the whole new job frontier has been a way bigger adjustment than going from single to married."

Our 13" height difference (maybe 9" with my heels) made this a delicate maneuver.

And it's true.  And for that, I know that we are extremely lucky - I know not every newly wed couple can say with confidence that the first year has been smooth sailing.  Living with someone full-time, having to work around schedules, who's getting the groceries and making dinner, budgeting budgeting budgeting, and who is the lucky one to take Zeke out this time.  Yeah, it's all a bit of a juggling act, but it hasn't been that hard.  Sure, I'm the one to take Zeke out more frequently, but Kevin does more trash runs.  I'm the laundry master (because I admittedly don't trust Kevin to not shrink his shirts.  The boy's tall - if his shirts shrink by the tiniest bit, it's time to go shirt shopping.) but Kevin will voluntarily wash my car, knowing I'd let it get to epic pollen-covered levels before taking it in myself.  We both enjoy cooking - I'll make the pizza dough and prep the toppings while he makes his killer pizza sauce.  

A delicious example of our pizza.  Complete with Enterprise pizza wheel. 

It's a balance.  I know that's far from a revolutionary idea - just about anyone who's ever been in a relationship will tell you that.  It's balance, but it's also communication.  Again, nothing ground breaking in that statement either.  So, it's no secret, but it also isn't hard either.  Or it shouldn't be.  If we're in this together, than it follows that we should always be considering the other one and not just ourselves.  I think in all of the happy relationships I've seen, it's clear that each partner is always at some level thinking about and considering the other person's best interest.

But, maybe I'm naive in thinking that it should be easy to consider the other person, strike a balance, and communicate openly.  Maybe I'm spoiled in that I've found someone with whom realizing that crucial balance is easy.  We've said it many times - our weirds just get each other.  Earlier on in our relationship, I realized how well we work together in the kitchen:  We'd each have our own thing to start on, but if my veggies were chopped I'd keep an eye on his sauce while he cleared up counter space.  Or, while I was finishing up the assembly, he'd pour drinks and get the table set.  Neither one ever really had to ask the other, "Hey, could you do..." or "Why don't you do X while I do Y."  We didn't have to.  We anticipated what needed to happen next in order to enjoy dinner.  It's always been instinctual to just do, not wait to be asked to do.  And all this in a tiny kitchen with a food-loving, dog-shaped speed bump underfoot just waiting for something (or someone) to fall.  It's just always worked.  It's always easy.  And for that I am always grateful. 

Gracefully stumbling over my heels now caught in my dress. 

Our first dance song was Ben Folds, "The Luckiest."  While we danced, he sang to me while I laughed and struggled with my heels getting caught up on the train of my dress.  Typical.  We also have that engraved on the inside of our wedding bands, "The Luckiest."  We fully appreciate how fortunate we are to have such a stable and easy relationship.  There was a moment where I said we could have had "Always and forever" engraved on our bands.  You know, from that most-awesome song in Napoleon Dynamite:  "But I still love technology, always and forever."  Don't worry.  As much as he might adore his gadgets and gizmos aplenty, I still trump the tech in terms of the affection scale.  Zeke might even be fairly high up there as well.  The "I love you," "I know" bit from Star Wars would also have been appropriate and fantastically nerdy, but I know many couples have BTDT already.  "The Luckiest" just sums it all up so nicely and hopefully we never lose sight of what it is that makes us feel like The Luckiest. 

You can almost read "The Luckiest" on his ring, but you might have to squint a little and hold the screen close to your eyes.  Not sure I recommend it.  It's way too tiny on mine to see in the picture, but it's there.

*Note:  All this isn't to say that we haven't had to deal with any issues or had any obstacles along the way.  Adult things like budgets and having to make important decisions are, unfortunately, unavoidable and not always fun.  However, I think what has made it feel easy is that we talk about these things.  We discuss them and if we don't agree, we listen to one another, trying to work around the issue until we can come to an agreement.  It's not a shouting match or a competition to see who can be the most stubborn.  We leave that to Zeke.  He said something once that I think sums it up perfectly:  "It all comes down to, do I love you more or do I love this thing or getting my own way more.  And it will always be you.  The other stuff is just... stuff."